On Life

The Bureau for Unfulfilled Weekends

HE
I had so much fun with you this weekend.

SHE
That’s the added bonus of leaving – when you return,
we are overly excited to see each other.

HE
But I feel the weekend should not be over yet.

SHE
Sorry, honey. Reality is hard. Monday will be here tomorrow.

HE
But my weekend did not start until Saturday afternoon.
Friday night was taken from me, I sacrificed it to my work.
Therefore: my weekend was incomplete.

SHE
But it’s the quality that counts. You just mentioned how much fun we had.

HE
Yes, but I could have had more fun, if the weekend had been longer.
I feel unfulfilled.

SHE
Okay. Then you should file a complaint.

HE
Yes. I’ll do that. Anyone would agree that a weekend without a Friday night is unsatisfying. I need an extra day to complete it.

SHE
I don’t think the Bureau will agree with you. Generally they only compensate for weekends that were ruined by natural disasters
like volcano eruptions or the flu.

HE
Of course they’ll agree! The Bureau for Unfulfilled weekends will recognize the necessity of the Friday night for the experience of a Full Weekend.

SHE
Like I said: file a complaint and we’ll see.
I bet you tomorrow is still Monday.